Just the Beginning

I have such mixed feelings. I’ve cried more tears over leaving Msambweni than I thought possible—even though I’ve promised to return and visit my family as soon as I can afford the plane ticket, it seems so much more final than the other goodbyes I’ve had to say in my life. Leaving the USA was hard, but I knew I’d be returning in 4 months. This is so much more indefinite. The only way we’ll have to communicate is by writing letters, and letters won’t capture the vibrancy that Msambweni brings and how alive it makes me feel. My Mama and Baba and siblings and cousins have become a real family to me, and being apart from family means that part of my heart will stay with them.

Arriving back in Nairobi was awesome though! As the bus started passing familiar places my heart swelled with a feeling that I was home; I didn’t realize the fondness I had developed for this city until I started to feel a familiar type of relief after getting back to the city, the type of relief you get returning home after a long journey. I stopped at Masrawy, my favorite Egyptian Restaurant/hangout to say hi to all of the staff that I’d missed so much and was greeted with open arms. It was great to see my first host family too; my Nairobi host brother was completely hyperactive when I returned, a sign that he was happy to see me as well. I walked to the supermarket this morning and felt completely overwhelmed (which will probably make my culture shock not as bad when I return to the US—I think I’m getting some of it now). I realized that I can’t hang out outside in the dark when I make my phone calls at night as it’s not safe here like it is in Msambweni. I went and got a chocolate milkshake and a grilled cheese from Java. It’s good to be back. Ups and downs. But definitely good.

Something Mama said to me our last day together has filled my heart with peace. As we said our tearful goodbyes at the bus depot, she said something that filled me with so much hope. “This isn’t the end of our time together, Molly! Now you have a Mama and Baba and a home in AFRICA that is yours, this is just the beginning!”